I started sport at a very young age. I was bullied a lot as a kid, for being Asian and for my sexuality. I found team sport a very hostile environment because of the stereotype of Asian athletes and sports, and I was the only Asian kid in sports.

I started bodybuilding when I was six and started going to the gym when I was around seven. I loved the sport because it was an individual sport. It was something that I chose, that built my self confidence and self worth. I competed as a young adult and I had a very difficult time in the gym with all the misogyny or sexism, being a kid in a sport dominated by men.

At the same time, starting sport at a very young age gave me a unique set of skills. The mindset of being able to push past the pain barrier gave me the strength, resilience and survival mechanism to withstand very difficult times. I think I saw myself for the first time through sports while learning about the story of Arnold Schwarzenegger and how he celebrated his differences.

I saw what kind of impact one could make through the power of sports, which led to all the affirmative activism that I do today. I think the main reason why I was able to pull myself out of homelessness was through the power of sports, with having that resilient mindset. It would have been much harder for me if I hadn't had a lifetime of sports.

As someone who’s always been very competitive, I love what bodybuilding did for me. It developed a confidence and worth within myself. The feeling of working out made me feel good about myself and helped me on my journey to love and see myself for the first time.

The power of storytelling and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s story had a huge impact on me as well — despite how different it was from mine, it was the celebration of someone who was physically different, sounded different, whose name was very different. But he celebrated himself and I saw how the community celebrated him as well.

I could see a path in terms of my own difference, how I could celebrate myself and how the community could celebrate me, as well.

Sport has the power to unite, but it needs to welcome everyone

I think the very strict gender norms in athletics are holding sports back from being a space of comfort as opposed to surveillance. Going through the pandemic, we've realized that sport has the power to unite us.

But we need to think differently about sports in context to different gender identities. We need to look at how we need to change policies so that we can make sports welcoming for everyone.

My hope for the future is to see a world where sports is welcoming to everyone, and people's sexuality and gender identity will not become a barrier to participate. You should be able to show up as your authentic self without fear of violence or discrimination in sports, because everyone should have access to be able to play sports, particularly kids.

I think of myself and the person I've become today, because of a lifetime of sports. Starting bodybuilding so young, I saw the strict gender norms in sports and the strict gender norms in society.

Bodybuilding created a space of liberation where I could push that envelope of being an Asian woman coming from the LGBTQ community — being masculine but also being feminine as well and breaking down those different stereotypes.

If I could travel back in time, I would tell my younger self: “Your difference is the reason the world continues to sparkle and you have always been enough.”

I think for so many kids from ethnic backgrounds from the LGBTQ community, they feel that they will never be celebrated, they can never be their authentic self, and that who they are is not enough.

I'm far more successful and happier now showing up as my authentic self, than hiding who I am.