I’m the first non-binary high desert champion and the first non-binary ability first champ, and I love to push the boundaries.

From the time I have been honest and open about my gender identity, I’ve seen how a lot more people are realizing their possible misconceptions of a non-binary person or a trans person. They’re realizing that their ideas about us might not be the reality. They’re getting to know me as a person and I get to represent that in the locker room with other wrestlers, and in front of the crowd and audience.

I remember a time where the locker room wasn't necessarily a safe space for everyone. Personally, I called myself 'not a respectable queer’ meaning that I boldly take my space and I will not let someone else's negativity towards my gender identity ruin that for me. I will be nice but I will not take a lot of punishment from others. I will stand up for myself, and I will gladly do so.

I'm an 80s baby and I've been called slurs my whole life for being different from other people. I’ve taken that in my stride in the way I represent myself now. I did a wrestling show in a private event for a biker gang recently. When I came out to wrestle, two of the audience members called me slurs as I made my way to the ring. Instead of letting that get to me during the match, I took the perspective of how I’m showing them that as feminine and gender-nonconforming people, we can fight too.

A lot of people don't think queer, femme people or gender nonconforming people cannot stand up for ourselves. They like to think of us as these weak people who can't defend themselves. I like to change that misconception.

We can stand up for ourselves. We can be strong and we can not let their slurs and hate bother us.

I started my wrestling training in the summer of 2001, and I’ve wrestled all over Southern California, which seems to be more open towards a lot of different gender identities. I'll be 40 this year and through the years, I’ve seen the world change, and seen how people in the locker room are becoming more comfortable with themselves and others.

Wrestling is very much an insider sport. A lot of wrestling in the past was referred to as a ‘brotherhood’ with very gendered terms: they have ‘intergender wrestling matches’ or ‘ladies matches’ that tend to 'other' other genders and try to keep everything segregated. As things progress in the wrestling world, we’re seeing that more matches are just being called ‘matches’ or ‘all-gender matches’ rather than being categorized as ‘intergender’ or ‘ladies’ matches.

So they're trying to be more inclusive and I'm seeing that hostility against us is getting shut down a lot more frequently.

I want trans youth to keep fighting and keep searching for their chosen family

As an 80s baby, I didn't have a lot of vocabulary to describe myself like we do today. Although no one should put themselves in a box, these terms make it easy for you to explain yourself to other people. 

I would want my younger self to know that I'm not as weird as I thought I was, that there are other people like me, and as things progress in the world, it will be easier for me to describe myself and to help express who I am.

As someone who’s living in California, I'm in a relatively safe state for trans people. But it's sad and disheartening to see what’s happening in other states with their legislative attacks on trans people and youth. All across the United States, we are worried, scared, and in despair. As an older trans person, I get to show them that "It gets better" (to take a Trevor Project term).

My partner and I go live on TikTok every Saturday night to talk to trans youth, because by representing myself in front of trans youth, I can show them that they might be in a bad situation, but they can get out of that and grow.

I would like to let any trans people or gender nonconforming people out there know that there are people that care about them. They are loved. We don't have a lot of privileges. But one of the privileges we have is that our community has chosen family.

No matter how anybody treats you, you have a chosen family who will love and support you. Keep searching. Keep fighting.

I hope that people vote differently on how transgender people are treated

When I came out in my wrestling career, it was important for me to show trans youth that it does get better. It was also important for me to be out so that I could maybe change the hearts and minds of those who might not even like trans people. 

If they enjoy me, and they enjoy my work as a wrestler. They might feel like "Oh, maybe I'm wrong about trans people." 

There are other trans athletes like AEW's Nyla Rose, who is a trans woman, and she's on national television, and she gets to show people who a trans woman can be through different aspects.

That's what I kind of hope happens with my career: that people might start voting differently or having different feelings about how trans people should be treated. I'm hoping for a future of gender affirmation where we treat people as they are and just let them participate in sports with the gender they are without any questions. 

Wrestling is very visual, and look-based. So sometimes I'll get on and wish I looked a little bit more this way, a little bit more that way. But that’s more in my head. It is really re-affirming to be known as a non-binary person with colleagues, athletes and an audience that accepts me for who I am. It gives me this great adrenaline rush, especially when the crowd gets behind me. The more I'm around my colleagues and the audience, the focus on looks goes away and doesn’t matter as much.

When people worry about things being easier for masculine people over feminine people, I tell them, it really depends on your training. People watching women's MMA from the couch, will sometimes be like, "Well, men could do this." 

But all those women could beat up half the men in the world because they've trained for it. Things should be based on your skill level, not what someone might perceive as your gender identity based on what's in your pants, or whatnot.