I have been running my whole life but it wasn't until recently that I ran my first competitive race since coming out as trans. In the first race I won outside of high school, I got second place and they had places one to three take a picture together, and one guy in the middle put his arm around both of us and it was total acceptance.

I don't know if that guy knew I was trans but it just felt normal. Even such small things can be so impactful and meaningful.

People who think trans people are a threat don't understand that we're really just begging for scraps here. We're not asking for a lot. It doesn't take a lot to just accept people and just be kind.

Everybody's composition is different. Everybody's abilities are different. Everybody's body chemistry is different. We should be celebrating that.

The more you start digging into the differences and what makes something fair, you're splitting hairs and we're never going to be equal. If we removed the gendered categories we'd probably see people breaking out of their limits. I think we would see people really pushing themselves if they have new competition, and that we would see a lot of changes. People think they're trying to protect women athletes, by keeping the men out, but women athletes don't need that.

In competition, euphoria comes from knowing that I went up against everybody and gave it my all and that there were no conditions on it. There’s no, "Oh, well, you're the best for the girls or the best for the boys."

Girls can be just as competitive as boys and we're limiting them by saying we are trying to ‘protect’ them. And that's been characteristic of a lot of how female children and female people have been treated historically.

Cisgender folks would be more comfortable if they opened up to experiences of dysphoria and euphoria

I socially go through the world presenting masculine because I feel comfortable that way, but also because that's a way people can understand. People have a little bit better understanding of binary trans people versus non-binary and trans people, and a lot of times non-binary people are having to make choices between binaries.

I think a lot of cisgender people also chafe under these limits and would be more comfortable if they could be more open to the experiences of dysphoria and euphoria. When I came out to my mom and was trying to explain to her what non-binary was, she was like, "Well, I didn't want to be a woman. I didn't want to grow up and be a woman."

I'm like, "Well, it's not too late. You don't have to be a woman."

There are a lot of people who are not comfortable with these preconceived notions of what men and women are. If we could be more open to including trans and non-binary experiences, a lot of cisgender people might feel more comfortable in choosing womanhood or masculinity, or rejecting them altogether.

They might not want to medically transition or socially transition, but I think more of these conversations will only be an improvement to the lives of everyone.

Why are we enforcing these things that are not even based on biology?

The whole narrative of trans femme or trans women being critiqued for testosterone is very upsetting. Trans femme folks who are medically transitioning, are often reducing the amount of testosterone in their bodies through medical means. Moreover, testosterone is not some magic thing that suddenly makes you faster or better. So many factors need to align for someone to be able to win a race – how everyone's feeling, what the weather's like, what the course is like, if your shoes are too tight, and so on.

People try to claim, "Oh, well, I would have won if this girl wasn't running, because she's trans and she has an unfair advantage.”

In reality, you wouldn't have won anyway.

It frustrates me to see how parents enable these arguments by claiming that their child is at a ‘disadvantage’ if they play with trans athletes, when in fact their child might just not like sports or PE. I feel bad for the young women who have been misled to claim that trans women are a threat to them. I always think of the treatment of Caster Semenya versus Micheal Phelps. Semenya has a unique body composition unique to her and so does Phelps. Phelps doesn't build lactic acid in his muscles, doesn't get as tired, and has extra long arms. But we're not telling Phelps that he has to wear a drag suit or that he has to somehow remove or dampen these advantages. Why should we be saying that to Semenya? Why does it matter?

In one bicycle race, the leader of the women's group was overtaking the men's group and they were making her stall. Why are we enforcing these things that are not even based on biology? There's this huge variety in how human beings develop and how our bodies actually work. I think we're really just trying to fit people into boxes that are not there. They're socially constructed and they're arbitrary.

We should just get rid of the gendered categories.

It’s heartbreaking to think about trans kids who just want to play or compete

A question that competitive running has me asking myself is: What gender should I put when I compete?

Some of my documentation says M, but most of my documentation still says F. I didn't really think of it till I got there and was like, "Oh wait, is that going to be weird if I put M?"

I don't always necessarily know: Are people accepting me? Am I passing? Or is it just that other people don't care?

There's such variety even within a gender that’s disregarded by the narrative of one gender having an advantage over the other, and people don't necessarily care about facts. With all the anti-trans rhetoric we've been hearing, it really is heartbreaking to think about kids who just want to play, run or compete.

Sports were a huge part of my life and what I did. During my experience in high school, there was a feeling of community in sports, across the girl’s team and boy’s teams. Not to say you always liked everyone on your team, but you spend a lot of time with these people. So it's heartbreaking to now think of the young people who are just being excluded for being who they are.

it would have been really hard if I had not been able to play, or if it was such a point of contention like it is for a lot of young people right now.

I'm grateful I was an independent adult when I started this journey. So even if my family wasn't on board, which they weren't at first, I didn't need their permission. I didn't need their support. A lot of people are not in a space where they can come out safely because they still need support from their family or guardians.

The anti-trans rhetoric we hear doesn't reflect the majority of people

I know it sounds cliché, but I would want trans kids to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel:

Even if you have supportive parents or supportive people in your life, it’s hard seeing all of these attacks and seeing these politicians. At the same time, the anti-trans rhetoric that we hear doesn't reflect the majority of people. There are a lot of real people who love you even if they don’t understand you. There's still a lot of positivity and overwhelming support, from people you will meet out there.

Yes, there are definitely people who are filled with hate and fear. But I think the majority of people out there are decent.

There are a lot of celebrations around coming out and a lot of pressure on young people to know exactly who they are. But that's not realistic. Most people don't know who they are, or who they want to be. It's a journey and it’s never too late. You don't owe anything to anyone. Your journey is your own. It's going to be unique to you. You don't ever have to come out if you don't want to. You just do what works, what's right for you, what's best for yourself.

I didn't come out as a kid and I didn't go through high school sports as an out trans person, but from the perspective of being an adult on the other side, I'm just filled with empathy for kids. And kind of gratitude for myself because I got to go through and got to do sports, which were really important to me, and it would have been really sad if I didn't get to.