Where I grew up, getting kids to play sports was mostly something to do to get them out of their parents' hair. I started playing soccer when it was nowhere near as big of a sport in the US as it is now, so there wasn't so much culture around it. I eventually got bored and moved on to track well before anybody started having discussions about hormone levels and about intersex people or trans people competing. I had a fairly decent track career but a knee injury put a pin in that.

Around 2002, I started playing Disc Golf, which has been my sport of choice ever since. I've always enjoyed getting out into nature and most disc golf courses are out in the woods or somewhere green, so it's a good way to be athletic while getting away from city life.

I don't know if sports has had a direct impact on my understanding of gender or gender expression — I didn't come out until my 40s, and in high school we didn't really get to have any discussions around gender identity.

But in the disc golf community, there is quite a lot of discussion mostly by cisgendered men who don't want trans women competing against cis women, and I've thrown myself into the fray of that as much as possible.

Prior to last year, the disc golf community was very well welcoming and an easygoing place – the stereotypical picture of disc golfers is people drinking and smoking pot on a disc golf course throwing frisbees. And as much as the competitive side of disc golf does not fit that stereotype, for the casual side of it where the bulk of people are playing, it's somewhat apt.

So it's been a very easygoing and light-hearted community. But in the last couple of years, with some trans women winning tournaments and all the propaganda against Lia Thomas and other trans athletes, the community has becoming incredibly unwelcoming towards trans people.

Most cis women disc golfers are incredibly supportive about including trans women

As far as I know, there are two cis-het women who are vocally against the inclusion of trans women. But any time I've been in a debate about including trans women in disc golf, all of the cis women have been incredibly supportive. There are rumors of other cis women who are against trans athletes, but that still means they're only talking amongst themselves and they're not coming forward about it.

In my experience with engaging in local Facebook groups, online forums and subreddits on disc golf, I've encountered hundreds upon hundreds of cis men and at least a couple gay men as well who are just angrily against the inclusion of trans women. The disc golf community has shown me the different ways in which misogyny and transphobia can manifest.

I try to be as diplomatic and informative as possible in these spaces. It's very easy to become emotional when somebody is challenging your existence while expressing disgust or hate at it. But when they get angry, and somebody gets angry back, it just justifies and fuels their anger and their hate.

I speak of myself as an advocate and educator and try to fill both of those roles in those conversations. I tend to stick pretty well to that, as long as somebody's not throwing insults while being deliberately and overtly transphobic. Fortunately, with the internet, you can pick up and put down as you need to, and come back to it later, if it's something that's weighing on you emotionally.

To get away from the antagonism, I just go outside and actually play some disc golf either by myself or with friends, rather than letting a discussion suck the fun out of the game for me.

Society is being railroaded down a path of angry propaganda against trans women

It's been many years since I played competitively but this year was the first time since I started transition that my muscle atrophy and the body changes aren't still in that state of flux, where I just couldn't predict anything. This was the year that I got back into playing disc golf, and I was really excited about playing competitively again in the correct division. There was a tournament I really wanted to enter, but because I originally signed up pre-transition, my records list me in their systems as a man.

Rather than signing up and just saying, "Hey, I'm a woman" and leaving it at that, I have to completely start my competitive record over. To reclassify post-transition to play in the women's division, I would need to provide medical records that show two blood tests at least 12 months prior to basically meet IOC regulations.

There was definitely a feeling of urgency in trying to see if I could get to play this tournament because it was the end of the disc golf season for sanctioned play and this could well be the last tournament where I would be allowed to play the Women's Division.

With new restrictions against trans athletes coming up, I may just never actually get to play in the women's division, ever. It's been a very heavy thing for me.

For the most part, every person I would be competing against has been welcoming. But the women's division is a tiny fraction of the disc golf community, and the problem lies with the attitude of the rest of the community — it is a very white, very male space, with cis men as voices of hate and exclusion – they are numerous and they are loud.

It's essentially a societal issue. The disc golf community is not going to change course from society as a whole, and as long as society is being railroaded down this path of angry propaganda against trans women, this is going to continue.

The thing that disgusts me the most about the legislation against trans athletes

The thing that disgusts me the most about the anti-trans bills is how a lot of places are trying to pass two things simultaneously – one, no trans woman or trans girl can compete if they transitioned after the age of 12; two, laws saying that you're not allowed to transition before the age of 12.

They're deliberately saying, "You're just not allowed to compete. We don't want you here. Go away."

These bills are actively harming thousands of kids per state, on the off chance that maybe one of them will want to play sports. There are states where they're passing these laws and there's not a single trans athlete, but they're passing these laws to exclude and discriminate against trans kids anyways. People refer to these attacks as debates, but they're not really debates – it's transphobic people ranting and expecting trans people or our allies to speak up so that they can then say: "No amount of science could convince me."

But I still wade into those comments because it's important to me that their lies and misinformation get corrected. If somebody comes after me, I want them to see that others are standing up for people like me.

Just knowing that you're not alone can be a huge thing, and that's really the message that I'd love to give to trans kids: "It's bad right now. It's probably going to get worse for a bit. But there are other trans people, young and old alike, and allies who do support your inclusion and you living your authentic life. You are not alone"

If there is emotion, let it be empathy for trans folks affected by these laws

What I would really hope to see is for the anger against trans athletes to start cooling off. People are reacting emotionally, and not caring about the effects that their emotions have on trans athletes.

When disc golfer Natalie Ryan won two tournaments people claimed that she's stealing money from cis women, and argued for a set of rules that would explicitly prevent any trans woman from being able to do that. They're saying 'How dare the cis women not get this little bit of money, screw the trans women.'

There's a lot of that where people just aren't really thinking through the impacts and effects of their claims and arguments. All these asinine things from bathroom laws to sports in the name of supposedly 'protecting women and children'.

The very premise of women or children needing protection from trans women in the restrooms has to be based on the assumption that the overwhelming majority of trans women are sexual predators. That is ridiculous, but people in these emotional states are sold off hook, line and sinker. People are so angry at the idea of change in sports communities that they don't stop to think through the effects of what they're doing, or not if it even has a point.

In disc golf, a huge amount of what makes you good isn't strength. I've seen guys built like professional NFL linebackers, big guys who can't throw a golf disc 200 feet, but Paige Pierce, a little tiny cis woman who's a five time world champion, can throw almost 500 feet.

So much disc golf comes down to skill, not your physique, not the composition of your muscles, not your hormones. It's what disc you choose to throw, and how you throw it. But those things don't matter to the people who are all angry and upset and arguing against trans people.

I think that's what really needs to change – taking the emotion out of it. If there has to be emotion, let that be empathy for the trans people who will be affected by the decisions being made.